Clairvision:ISIS 0007 - instant tears, (shoulder) abandonment anger

From my journal:

23 August 2008

Didn't even hardly touch the mat before I was crying crying crying. Great gasping abandonment issues of tears wailing from every pore. Brought up memories of the dream and gushed into overtime tears of gasping, body shaking tears, squeezing out every last inch of air, and still more to cry, but the desire for air required a break in the sobs to gasp for air. Then breathe breathe breathe a few breaths and then back down into it gasping whatsits until all the air was gone from lungs and from the veins.

This went on for a few times and then suddenly found myself floating with angels; it didn't actually take so long before I was there,.. it was just really intense on the way to it.

Then back to the crying after a bit, and then

Helma moved one of her hands to my shoulder, and all the energy switched and I was feeling sadness mixed with anger at having been abandoned by the driver who left me with $4000 medical bill for my shoulder. Body tensing anger and squeezing legs and toes and rargh.

felt and felt and felt everything I could; didn't explain what was the source.

After everything, Helma told me that was (supposed to be) the next step: finding the source and then re-experiencing the event in exquisite detail... Looking forward to doing that on Wednesday morning.