Clairvision:ISIS 0029-I love you, deep freeze!

12:14pm JST Saturday 2 January 2010 (day 14528)

Awesome session. Rebecca chose a point on my chest, just to the right of my sternum. For a while at first I was like, "I feel nothing," but got a bit deeper into it like it felt cold. Like an infinite black hole with cold point at the bottom into which I could fall but never return. She eased me into the hole and I found cold stillness at the bottom, like inert, solid, charcoal gray, flat steel. Nothing to do, nowhere to go. Can't do anything, can't go anywhere.

"When did you first encounter this feeling?"

and reconnected with the times I used to sleep on the deep freeze. "They don't love me so I'll just sleep outside on the freezer. It's always here for me; it loves me. It's stable and nice, and if you get used to the cold, it's not even that cold."

Chilled in that space for a bit and then noted the dead carcasses in the freezer, looking for a reason to have been killed, a body to live. I've got a ton of energy. I've got a ton of love. I love you, little dead carcasses! If no one else does, *I* love you!!

In my outer mind, "Hmmmm, if they were looking for a warm body to live, and I was looking for something consistent to love me, maybe we worked out a symbiotic relationship..." or maybe that's just my silly brain reading too much into this.

At Rebecca's suggestion could feel the dichotomy between warmth, boundless love, boundless energy, and cold lifeless inert stability. I've got so much energy, so much love. What to do with it?? I want to help everyone find their own inner light and help the entire world evolve forward as an entity and as a species.

Looked then at the golden side again, and just wanted to open my eyes and gaze into her eyes and fall in love and connect and love and love foreva. Didn't say that until a bit later she described, "it's like there's a longing for connection," so I told her what I had censored before.

( silly man; no need to censor )

Just want to do everything be everywhere.

What about just 'be'?