Clairvision:ISIS 0027-prisoner of RAR

Jax was my connector for my morning ISIS today. She put her fingers on my sternum and I found myself in a past life, on the ground, with a soldier's gun against my chest. So afraid and couldn't show it. One of my buddies cried or something and they shot him dead. Into the cell we were thrown and so angry but couldn't show it. Anyone who acted out of line was shot dead.

Somehow, Jax got me to express my anger.

I was like

RAR!

for several minutes; I have carpet burns on my right knee and opposite elbow. She had her hand on my stomach, "feel it from your belly!" to keep me from just fighting blindly (though I did have my eyes closed). I roared and yelled and bellowed and then a quiet phase of panting and maybe crying, and then get back into roaring after a bit. She kept her hand on my belly basically the whole time, save for when I was like, "I wanna wrestle you" and we wrestled a bit, "just match my belly" she said. I didn't know if I was matching her belly, but I matched her strength so as to not hurt my friend. With eyes closed, I was like kneeled in front of her sitting down, with our outstretched hands each holding the other, then "rar!" right at her, and I think/hope she turned or rolled her head out of the way so I wouldn't blow toxic poison gas (*) onto her, and I dripped tears on her right shoulder, and then wanted to bite her neck viciously, but just clamped my teeth nearby before roaring some more.

During one portion of roaring, I was pounding on pillows and had ripped through a blanket, and I blinked my eyes open and the bright white pillow reminded me of "blinding white rage" or something. I used that to roar more, with snot flying and my vocal chords aching; it was great.

(*) Ami calls my belches "poison gas" in her cute way